by Clyde from San Fernando
2/20/2019
The focus of the article is to bring into view the behavior of people determined to catch a wave in a crowded line-up no matter what, whether that be dropping in, hogging waves, or just using Psychic Voodoo. And, as painful as it is to some, there is no better option for someone to get the number of waves needed to achieve the daily goal and to get the amount of surfing needed to grow as a surfer.
None of this is new; we have all seen the videos of surfers competing for the same wave and the confrontations that sometimes ensue. We have also seen videos of locals violently protecting their turf by running non-locals out of a line-up. And some of us have had surfers drop in on us. And so, it was not wholly unexpected that on a recent surf trip to Old Man’s, this competitive bad behavior was laid out in front and a decision had to be made to either get the waves needed however possible or just let the trip be a completely wasted effort.
I had pulled into the lot at Old Man’s and was faced with a broad set of breaking waves. The sky was California blue and the water was amazingly Pacific blue. The breeze was light and cooling as the sun was just warming things up on the beach. All you could hear was the periodic crash of waves largely unhampered by winds. Best of all, the lineups were pretty sparse giving plenty of space for everyone to do their own thing. It was ideal at first sight. It was just going to be a perfect day and it just felt good to be there.
And the scene was otherwise perfect except for the presence of “Joe Dirty Surfer.” Yes, he was about as convincing as the character in the movie, Joe Dirt, when he was trying to convince Zander Kelly that he was cool. Joe Dirt: “The year was 1982. I was eleven years old and I had gotten into a little trouble, so I was living in a juvey home and I was getting ready to split that scene and pronto.” The movie fades to young Joe jamming out to Bob Seager, Ramble Gamblin Man, as he hoboed down the train tracks. Zander: “Bob Seager?. Be honest. Back then you were probably listening to Leif Garrett. It was probably more like this….” The movie cuts to “disco” Joe dancing down the tracks. Harsh.
Joe immediately began ignoring etiquette; he tried to hog waves, paddling in front of myself and a couple sharing the same lineup. Not having total success catching all the waves, he began the psychic voodoo on us; “Hey, with that board you could catch a lot more waves down in front of the Marine Corps Beach Club.” Me: “okay, thanks for the pointer.” He tried a couple of more times. Not being good at the mental game and not having enough ambition, he let out an expletive and splashy paddled away to be at the back of a somewhat bigger lineup. It was just a relief he didn’t break out the “gun show.”
After the laughter and chafing subsided, it did make me think though; the sets were not rolling in super frequently and those that came weren’t perfect and there were others vying for it. He was determined to surf and, so, was he right to try what he tried? How much did he want to surf that day? How long did it take him to get there? And, when would the next opportunity for him to surf come? Should he have had more mettle and tried harder to take our waves? Was this guy’s behavior really that bad or was it even maybe the best way to get what he wanted. Should I be that way? It’s a dilemma that every surfer knows and has experienced.
To become better, a surfer does have to get a lot of waves. Along this journey to becoming a surfer, he will learn which waves to paddle for, he will learn how to maneuver his board more effectively, he will learn how to gain and hold focus, he will learn the intricacies of a wave like how to deal with surfing through chop , he will learn how long a tube will likely hold, he will learn how to instinctively adjust when conditions change, he will learn how to bail or how to get out of a hold-down, he will learn psychic voodoo– how to verbally interact and not get intimidated or conned off a wave; he will learn strategy – how to fake others into a bad wave (ex. just take advantage of knowledge to get others to paddle out on a bad wave, etc.); he will learn how to read what conditions are the most likely to give the best waves for where he wants to surf; he will learn which boards are the best for each condition; he will learn what waves he himself can compete on the best; he will have learned which waves are next to be mastered and will train to get there; he will know when it is time to cash out and go home. Experience is the only thing that gets you there and to get there you have to ride a lot of waves. It is the only way.
It is probably a good idea to go ahead and debunk two other ideas; surf schools and media/books. One place someone may turn is to a surf teacher/surf school. They can teach you how to paddle and to stand up and otherwise give you some basics to get you ready and this is good. The problem comes with how much individual time you can get and afford with an instructor. Twenty-five dollars an hour times how many hours…. It can add up to a large bill. There is also the problem with how much surfing knowledge this person actually has to convey. What instructor is really a good enough or thorough enough teacher to adequately teach every single wave type with every single possible condition you will experience? Does he understand you enough to customize training or is he just teaching a “blanket” method? Also, if you find the miracle source of surfing knowledge, what teacher has the time to give you all of this information. So, there are limits on knowledge and time/money and it is debatable how far up the learning curve even a great surf instructor can get you.
Another place to learn about surfing is to pick up books or other literature/media covering surfing skills. This material will be interesting and you will learn some of the language and maybe even pick up a few ideas to try out during your next session. The real problem is that there is not any author who is so great a writer that they can accurately describe each of the wave types and how to adjust/maneuver to successfully surf. It is really just an impossible task to write about it. Besides, how many books would you have to read and how much time do you have to dedicate to reading and how much would all these books cost.
Both of these sources of knowledge, surf instructors and writers of surfing instruction, are very helpful. However, it is safe to say that you can dismiss these as a substitute for the knowledge that comes through experience. In fact, most will tell you that you have to get out there and just do it and learn as you go. They will tell you that you will have to just go out and surf and surf repeatedly.
So, to become better or to just simply get what you want, to surf, you have to strap up and paddle in and educate yourself with trial and error.
And, this gets us back to where we started; should we become somewhat like Joe fighting for waves in a lineup or wait politely for the invitation that will never come or comes when everyone in the lineup develops sympathy for you. How many years do you have to spare?
So, maybe Joe thinks that if he doesn’t successfully ride the next wave, it was just a wasted effort being here and he knows nobody is going to hand him a wave. He resurfaces from the previous wipe out and paddles back out and begins to maneuver for his next wave. He hogs a little, he snakes a little, and he gets his next chance. He is getting his and he is growing as a surfer.
I am not making recommendations here, just making a point about what you MAY have to do to get experience and to become the surfer you always wanted to become. Do what it takes, fair or unfair to get that wave.
At the end of the day you are there to surf, to accomplish what you want to accomplish, and why should you not get what you set out to get. Will anyone remember one’s bad surfing etiquette 10 years from now? Does it matter anyway —- I mean, does anyone outside the lineup care what happens to a bunch of surfers when they are busy with their daily lives. Does the guy cooking paninis at the local panini hut care or is he just trying not to burn the bread?
What if you piss off someone in the line-up who happens to be popular and has a big network of friends; they tell someone down at the local surfer bar. What are they going to do about it? Not talk to you or hurl insults or eventually just ice you out; so what, find a different bar. Hang out with your own friends and just forget about it. Afterall, your own group will support you.
What are people going to say, “that you are a good surfer who gets a wave anyway he can.” IE. that you are ambitious. In most places this is a positive character trait. What are they going to say about the guy who complains; if he keeps complaining they will think, eventually, that he is just some kind of wimp and they will wonder why he hasn’t done anything about it.
So, you do it; you drop-in. Back in the lineup maybe you get verbally assaulted or just plain assaulted; maybe you do what most do and just “fast talk” you way out, like, “oh sorry didn’t see you” or you just persuasively argue that they were wrong that they let up on their paddling and that you were committed first… you know, create a little doubt so others back off.
Here are two videos that provide a little color on what is being talked about here.
A couple of videos for color:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqqS8lYYSdk Surfing’s Dark Side on the North Shore | The New York Times – from YouTube
https://youtu.be/wQZgpHBotUY?t=29 “Surf Rage in Malibu” – from YouTube
https://youtu.be/gd5RYiN7WN4 “Surfer Rage – Kiwi vs Brazillian” – from YouTube